What His Eating Habits Really Say

I must preface this by confessing that I was a late bloomer. Jesus was pretty much my boyfriend in high school, and post-traumatic issues stemming from cult-like brainwashing aside, I made up for lost time as I separated myself from the church, became a global citizen, and started asserting myself as a powerful woman.

What His Eating Habits Really Say
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I need to tell you about a very valuable observation: the manner in which a man performs cunnilingus is very closely related to the way he consumes a plated meal.
What His Eating Habits Really Say
The notion was mentioned around me, in passing, while I was still living in the man-made shell that strengthened each time I went to a church service. I was blinded by faith, but I wasn’t deaf! I mentioned this recently to a 30 something who is back to dating, after a decade-long relationship. I explained to her, in depth, as I will soon explain to you, and she demanded to know just HOW I came about this information.

I hadn’t considered that for years. How DID I know this secret? And then it hit me: My brother. “That’s a strange conversation to have with your brother” preceded a few more statements, then questions of how close we are in age and eventually, I chose to share with her my childhood nickname, Mangie. She mentioned a book I’d never heard of, whose reference and summary grossed me out, but then I was tickled when someone soon after informed us that a Lifetime Movie version was airing this weekend! Anyway, I feel fortunate to have a brother who can be vulgar in my presence with his friends. A lot of times, his friends become my friends. Also, our relationship is NOTHING like the one which exists between the protagonists of that book!

So, that seed of knowledge stayed with me and, and as I became more sexually experienced, I noticed certain behaviors which were definitely indicative of sexual performance. It was initially stated that the neater a man ate, the better he was at performing oral sex. I found this to be true.
What His Eating Habits Really Say
A male coworker overheard when I spoke to my new workplace friend, and he later informed another male. He simply could not let it go. They spent an entire lunch break refuting my claims. The one, a 19 year old who is more gourmand than gourmet, could not fathom his messy eating habits have anything to do with how he performs oral sex. The other, a 20 something, is just an engineer, so he likes to argue and or suggest alternate theories ALL THE TIME. But, once I made the correlation of playing a musical instrument, as both consumption of food and strumming a guitar employ fine motor skills, he paused.
What His Eating Habits Really Say
It’s not necessarily the “eating” which determines a great lover, but the attention to detail. The man who methodically dines will most likely approach your glorious lady parts in a similar way. Every movement will be planned. Your reactions will be noticed and he will adjust to please you to the max!

What about the slob that inhales a sandwich and doesn’t care what gets on his face? He probably won’t know what he’s doing when he’s downtown. Could his enthusiasm make up for it? A younger woman might say yes, but I’d much rather have quality over quantity.
What His Eating Habits Really Say
Think about your past sexual partners. Do you recognize any correlation? If you go on a date soon, pay attention and see if I’m not right. The state of his plate at the end of your meal may be an auspice or an omen. Here’s hoping for the former.
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